How Dads Can Raise Healthy, Resilient Sons

Lessons From Our Work with Boys and Young Men

By Brian O’Connor, V.P. Public Education

June 18, 2026

Being a young man and boy today is hard. From mental health challenges to online safety to figuring out what it means to be a man, our sons are dealing with a lot. They need role models and people who will listen to them.

That’s where you come in.

Fatherhood looks a lot different than it did when I was growing up. Back then, many boys were told to work through their problems by being tough, encouraged not to talk about their emotions, and certainly were not prompted to seek help.

A lot has changed for the better, and today’s fathers have played a big role in that shift. They’re spending more time with their kids than ever before and sharing more in managing the household.

These points of connection and role modeling mean that our sons have more opportunity to understand they don’t have to shoulder tough moments alone.

For Father’s Day, we wanted to give you some insights into what we have learned through the years of our work partnering with parents, coaches, advocates, educators, and video game moderators. A lot of small, everyday actions can make a big difference in the well-being of your son’s life.

Here’s what we’ve learned.

Mental Health & Connection

Young people, especially young men, are struggling with isolation, disconnection, and a feeling that no one really knows them. You may see this in your own son or his friends.

You are so important in creating space for connection. Teens are looking for more social and emotional support, even when it doesn’t always feel that way to us. Spend time and listen, without judgment, to what’s on their mind.

Other tips:

• Listen actively so your kid knows you care. Nod, ask questions, give them your attention.
• You don’t always have to be having a “talk.” Shoulder-to-shoulder activities where you are not looking directly at one another, such as playing video games, shooting hoops, or even driving in a car, opens up space to share without feeling overwhelming to your teen.
• Inspire them to feel a sense of purpose and that they can overcome adversity. Share stories from your own life where you have persevered. Or stories of others who inspire you.
• Comfort your kid to create a sense of safety and trust. Model behaviors that create openness.
• Collaborate with them to help them come up with solutions to problems. Ask: “What ideas do you have to solve this?” before jumping in with your own answers.
• Celebrate them so they know they are valued and appreciated just for being them.

Sometimes, connection is enough. But other times, your son may experience distress that may require more help. In fact, half of youth mental health challenges show up by age 14, but it takes more than 10 years for them to get the help they need.

We’re working to change that through FUTURES’ initiative, Team: Changing Minds, which helps adults identify, understand, and respond to youth mental health challenges. You can take a look at some of our resources about mental health and even sign up for a training at our website.

Gaming & Online Spaces

Most teenagers play video games,  which creates an important source of connection for them. The majority of gamers say they game in order to spend time with other people, and 32 percent say that gaming helps their mental health. Youth, especially young men, are finding connection online and even relief from everyday stressors like school.

But in some cases, these online spaces can expose young people to harm: almost half of all teens have experienced bullying online, and 40 percent have been exposed to restrictive and violent messages on manhood.

What can dads do to help their sons stay safe online?

• Learn what’s happening online so you have a shared language. Join spaces like Discord, Reddit, and YouTube. Ask your son what spaces he’s on and to help create logins for you if you need.

• Sit down next to your kid and play or watch a video game with him. Be present and intentional about playing or watching. Have fun!
• Invite, don’t indict. Monitor his online safety with curiosity and care. The goal is to understand their world. Learn about their gaming habits and ask them open-ended questions about why they game.
• Encourage them to apply gaming skills offline in real life when they are cultivating friendships or navigating challenges.
• Help them practice care and respect both online and in real life.

For more tips, check out the FUTURES’ fact sheet on supporting the mental health of youth who game.

Healthy Relationships

About 1 in 12 teens experience physical violence in their romantic relationship, and 1 in 10 experience sexual violence. How can you teach your son about healthy relationships?

• Model healthy relationships with your own friends and partners.
• Encourage your son to speak up against harmful language like catcalls, sexual jokes, and demeaning comments, and to unfollow influencers who degrade or dehumanize women. Watch this video, Don’t Be That Guy, with him.
• Teach them about consent even in non-sexual situations like adding someone to a group chat.
• Ask them about their relationships. Are they based on openness and respect, or are they about control and pressure?
• Help your teen connect with people who make them feel welcome and accepted.

For more on health relationships, share “Hanging Out or Hooking Up” with your son and his friends.

You Can Strengthen Your Relationship

The tips above have a lot in common – they encourage connecting with your son, creating space for him to share his interests and emotions, and allowing him to express what he’s thinking and doing without judgment. These simple actions can go a long way in building stronger relationships with your son.

Being a dad isn’t always easy. But you’re doing a great job. Take care of yourself and keep showing up for your kid.

By creating an environment of trust, listening, enjoyment, and purpose online and in real life, you can help your son feel safe and healthy today and into the future.