How to Support People Who Cause Harm & Promote Accountability
By Juan Carlos Areán and Kate Vander Tuig
March 17, 2026
Innovative new tools and tactics are offering hope for changing the behaviors of people who abuse their partners.
This work should be a priority. A new study from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention finds that more than 1 in 3 women in the United States (43.5 million) have faced sexual or physical violence and/or stalking by an intimate partner in their lifetime – 6.7 million of them in the last year. This violence harms men too, and it causes lasting damage to people’s health, to families and communities, and to our country.
Along with supporting survivors and promoting prevention, we need to do more to support people who have caused harm to change their behaviors and the beliefs that may drive them. Here’s how we’re approaching that challenge.
Shame vs. Guilt
First, we recognize that language matters. Using labels like “batterer” or “abuser” implies that the violence a person committed defines who they are. It may even suggest that once a batterer, always a batterer.
But separating the person from the action helps avoid shame – feeling bad about who you are, which can lead to denial. Guilt, on the other hand, is appropriate. It means you are feeling remorse for what you have done. People don’t tend to change if they are feeling shame, but guilt is often part of the process of change.
If we’re going to engage people outside coercive systems (like courts and child welfare), we should be deliberate about the words we use.
Accountability Is Key
We believe almost everyone can change – but nobody will change unless they want to and work hard to do so. Accountability for causing harm is essential. We define accountability as an active, voluntary process where individuals take responsibility for their actions and work to repair the harm caused to victims and the community.
We recognize that some survivors may want to stay with the person who is harming them. They want the person to be a good parent to their children. Survivors tend to see people who cause harm as multi-dimensional, with both strengths and flaws.
But responsibility for convincing a person to change cannot fall to survivors or their children. Nor can any single health care provider, advocate, colleague, or neighbor do this alone. Everyone can help create awareness about the harm violence causes.
Essential Role of Health Care Providers
Futures Without Violence has worked in partnership with health care providers, survivors, and advocates to provide patients with information about domestic and sexual violence and how it can harm health, and to provide supportive resources to those who disclose abuse. It’s had tremendous impact, improving millions of lives.
But like so many others, providers struggle to find the best way to engage with people who cause harm. Because we know that changing behaviors starts with a conversation, we’re educating providers about what constitutes abuse and offering guidance for conversations. They can follow this general trajectory:
- I care about you.
- Because I care about you, I don’t want you to hurt your family or yourself.
- There is help.
- People can change.
- You can change.
New Tools
We’re thrilled that people can now call the A Call for Change Helpline. This free, anonymous, confidential resource is for people who are or are at risk of using abusive or controlling behaviors. It operates seven days a week from 10 a.m. – 10 p.m. ET, at 877-898-3411.
In addition, FUTURES is developing and testing new safety cards that include information for people who cause harm and people who have survived abuse. We have created cards for Responsible Fatherhood and Healthy Marriage programs in partnership with Child Trends. They explain what a healthy relationship is and is not, when it crosses over to abuse, how using or facing violence affects health, and strategies to stop using harm. These cards have been tested in several cities, and the results are very promising.
FUTURES will soon begin distributing a new safety card for community health clinics, in English and Spanish. Among the information it provides:
- How’s Your Relationship Going?
- Conflict Happens
- You Can Change
- Help Is Available
- Helping a Friend or Relative
A new podcast in our Seeding Safety series explores our approach and how health care providers, advocates, and child-serving professionals can prevent violence, support survivors, and promote accountability. Listen here and sign up here to receive our new safety cards this summer.
This publication was made possible by Grant Number 90EV0529 from the Administration for Children and Families, Office of Family Violence Prevention and Services, U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. Its contents are solely the responsibility of the authors and do not necessarily represent the official views of the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services.
